Hit Me Baby One More Time

You know all those photos of fresh impact play marks?

There’s nothing more special than marks developing and blooming for hours and days after a play session. Glorious colours forming a very unique canvas of pride, an absolute joy for any eye, dominant or submissive: dominants proud of their work, submissives of their own endurance. Even when used for punishment, impact play is a way to connect with your partner and create a special intimacy between you. If you’re doing it right.

With so much information available to us, how is one supposed to tell good from bad, right from wrong?

Are there wrong ways to do it? The first obvious mistake (you guessed it) would be technique. A lot of people know not to hit humans on the neck, fingers, lower back (kidney area), and so on. Some people know how important posture and distance are and work on their precision. Some.

All those pictures speak volumes about someone’s skills and their ability to criticise their own work.

No one is perfect but why would you want witnesses to a crime scene? No matter what implement you’re using, hits and marks shouldn’t be wrapping around the thigh. As a baby pro domme, one of the first things I was taught when caning a slave was to make sure my hits don’t wrap around: a professional knows that wrapping around accelerates the speed of the tip (or tips, with floggers), creating an unintentionally painful effect. Anyone can learn this not-really-secret knowledge, which is everywhere on kinky resources, websites, blogs. It’s like slapping someone across the face and hitting them precisely on their ear and saying “well, it hurts more!“ No. That’s just ignorance, bad technique, wrong distance, and most probably wrong posture.

The same goes for paddle marks too close to the sides, or on the sides, and uneven left and right marks. Marks can be left by any impact tool: a paddle, a flogger, or a whip. One important thing to remember: it’s never the toys that are dangerous. People letting their ego control their actions, people not in control of themselves, are dangerous.

Whips should be generally treated as chainsaws.

A bullwhip has a relatively long braided bit on its end called a cracker. Named crackers because they’re the section of the whip that moves faster than the speed of sound, making a cracking sound, they also cut skin and cause bleeding. Even if it looks like a scratch, crackers are very porous and absorbent, so they quickly become contaminated with blood that cannot be disinfected or washed off. If someone whips you in a public dungeon with a bullwhip that has the same cracker for everyone, you end up bonding your fluids with quite a few humans.
Avoid situations like these by avoiding the person owning that bullwhip at any cost: if they don’t know this, they don’t take safety seriously, so you shouldn’t take them seriously.

An essential safety tip, for a whip of any length, is to change crackers between partners.
Proper cleaning also means discarding canes with blood on them.
Proper cleaning protects you from HIV and HepС and makes your experience safer.

Always make sure to clean your tools and toys between partners too.

Some submissives will have their own collection of impact tools they love which they don’t share with anyone. Even then, they can always properly clean the tool and lend it to someone else.

Ultimately, you are free to do whatever you please, as long as you have all the information at hand: risk aware consensual kink (RACK) needs to be informed.

One can never stop learning: you can learn all about technique, safety, negotiation, aftercare, and more at one of my impact play workshops at the Kurszentrum LUX.

You will also have a chance to practice and fine tune your technique, as it is an all day workshop that dives deep into a lot of important aspects of impact play.

When you learn from professionals you can always pass the knowledge along to enrich the local community and to motivate more people to educate themselves. #kinkeducation at its finest!

Check the next dates: Go to Lady Selina’s Impact Play Course