Dirty German - 14.10.2025
14.10.2025
How to talk about sex, gender and kink in German?
Are you a Berlin kinkster still only using English for play? Do you have no idea how to flirt in German, name genitals, handle non-binary grammar, or negotiate a BDSM scene with a local? Bist du ein*e deutsche*r Muttersprachler*in, d* alles über kinky Sex aus dem englischen Internet gelernt hat? Hast du Schwierigkeiten, deine Wünsche und Interessen in einer BDSM-Verhandlung auf Deutsch auszudrücken? Then this workshop is for you! With our experts, we dive deep into all the juicy questions you will never find an answer to on Duolingo or at your regular German course at the Goethe-Institut.
Themes we are covering:
* Sexual vocabulary
How to name genitals in German? What vibes do the different synonyms give off? Are they cutesy, neutral, offensive? Which ones should be used depending on the context and your intention? What are the common expressions for having sex and what are the idioms that might be confusing for a foreigner? How do we talk respectfully about the bodies of our trans*, inter* and non-binary (play) partners?
* Gender-inclusive speech
German is a heavily gendered language, with not just pronouns but a number of other grammatical elements that can be tricky to handle, especially if you want to speak correctly and respectfully with or about someone who identifies as non-binary. We go through the basics and offer easy-to-use solutions for situations like that.
* Consent and pre-negotiation
Ensuring clear, informed and enthusiastic consent before any kind of sex (kinky or not) is crucial – and language should not get in the way of that! So we will go through the most important concepts and expressions that you need to know to talk about your desires, boundaries, and everything that gets your juices flowing!
* Special words and expressions in BDSM
A lot of BDSM practices, like fisting, bondage or impact play come with a wide range of specialised vocabulary that might be not easy to convert into German. How do you distinguish between a flogger and a whip, stingy and thuddy pain for example? And most importantly what is THIS toy called?!?
Who is this workshop for?
All queer people who want to improve their language skills in the field of sex and kink when using German as the main language of communication. You should be able to express yourself in German sufficiently in everyday life. The workshop will be held in a mix of German and English, and you can always ask if you need translation.
Alex M Gastel
they/them, dey/denen
I am a non-binary trans linguist, writer and diversity trainer. Language is an empowerment tool for me which helps me to express myself, my identity, my wishes and desires as well as respectfully ask my partners about their preferences. Consent in all its forms, polyamory and pansexuality are central to my learning, writing and teaching about sex. German is my first language but I love mixing German and English in creative ways, if only to annoy the conservatives.
Queerin G. Katter
he/ him
I am a trans man, a full-blooded kinkster, and a sex educator. I also have a kink for languages—especially the different ways in which various languages fight patriarchy and cis-heteronormativity, and how queerness is made visible—that really fascinates me.
I love talking about sex and kink, and also during sex and kink! I’ve noticed more than once that even native German speakers sometimes lack the right words. And in German courses, they don’t even teach neopronouns!
I’m quite active in the kinky community—mostly in FLINTA spaces, but also now and then in gay or mixed ones. I’m a member of Quälgeist and also of the Proteus Leather Club. The idea for this workshop actually came up during another one: Dirty Talk in German, for everyone who could use a little tutoring in that area ;).
Mátyás Dunajcsik
he/him/er
I am a cis gay multilingual poet, linguist, literary translator and BDSM practitioner. Since my move to Germany 7 years ago, I have been writing poetry and had kink sessions both in English and German. Sometimes the things I learn through kink also find their way to my poetry too. With several decades of experience in navigating between languages both in writing and in real life, I have first-hand experience in how the language you use to connect with another person can deeply influence intimacy, understanding and trust. As a member of the German chapter of the Proteus Leather Club, I am also actively working on the integration of trans and non-binary folks into the gay leather and fetish scene in Berlin and wider Germany.
